Some parents brag about their children’s refined palates and appreciation for a healthy variety of nutrient-rich foods. Other parents think those people are liars.
It’s no secret kids tend to prefer dinosaur nuggets and buttered noodles to the balanced meals doctors recommend. If that applies to your child, the good news is that the funny moms and dads on Twitter can totally relate.
We’ve rounded up 45 funny and too-real tweets about dealing with picky eaters.
Me: what do you want for dinner?
3yo: chicken nuggets.
Me: how about trying big boy food tonight?
3yo: okay I’ll have big chicken nuggets.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) November 4, 2020
My picky-eater child just told me the guinea pig food smelled delicious and I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t consider serving it for dinner.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 10, 2019
I think I’ve figured out this whole meal planning thing with kids:
Monday – won’t eat it
Tuesday – don’t like it
Wednesday – ewww gross
Thursday – that AGAIN
Friday – it smells weird
Saturday – this has chunks
Sunday – pizza
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) November 5, 2019
Picky eaters are worse than even the meanest TV cooking show judge. No judge is gonna yell “This chicken ruined my life!” and start violently sobbing.
— The Dad (@thedad) January 5, 2020
My 4yo is a pretty picky eater for somebody who is currently dipping apple slices into ketchup.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) August 23, 2019
Me: I don’t get why our kids are such picky eaters. It’s just food. Eat it.
Wife: Have a salad.
Me: I’d rather die.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 7, 2016
Toddler Food Network:
“For easy plating, drop it on the floor and refuse to eat until a different meal is served.”
— dadpression (@Dadpression) February 22, 2017
To avoid dinner time meltdowns from my toddler, I only make “chicken”.
Beef = Chicken.
Fish = Chicken.
Pork = Fancy Chicken.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 19, 2017
I gave my kid three different styles of pizza today because a balanced diet is important.
— Northern Lights 🦖🦎🐢 (@PinkCamoTO) January 25, 2016
[God creating my kids]
God: Make them both picky eaters
Angel: Got it, standard
God: Make one of them not like pizza
Angel: Haha, having some fun with this one, huh?
God: Make the other not like ice cream
Angel: Ok that’s just not believable
— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 20, 2019
8 is eating a balanced breakfast of strawberries and cool ranch doritos.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 11, 2021
Me: what do you want for dinner?
Me: you want cheese on that nothing?
3yo: yes please.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 21, 2020
My kids are such picky eaters that today I told them I was proud of them for eating McDonalds chicken nuggets.
— Tired Dad of 2 (@Tired_Dad_of_2) January 3, 2021
Kids: What’s for dinner?
Me: I’m making Chicken, Broccoli and Ziti Alfredo.
Child 1: I don’t want broccoli in mine.
Child 2: I don’t want chicken in mine.
Child 3: I don’t want chicken or broccoli.
Child 4: Can you rinse off-
Me [picking up phone]: Pizza it is.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 23, 2020
If you don’t add the word “pie” to the name of every food your picky toddler doesn’t want just to get them to eat it, are you even a parent?
— A Bearer Of Dad News🇬🇾 (@HomeWithPeanut) December 15, 2017
A teardrop tattoo for every homemade dinner kids refuse to eat.
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) March 17, 2021
Me: “I hate that I have to make 2 different meals bc the kids won’t eat what we eat.”
Husband: “So just make one and make them eat it.”
Me: *busts into laughter*
Moms around the world: *bust into laughter*
God: *busts into laughter*
— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 29, 2019
3 refuses to eat her bagel because it has a hole in it and I, too, wish I could refuse to do things for blatantly ridiculous reasons
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 30, 2019
Me: What do you want for dinner?
5-year-old: Ice cream.
Me: Try again.
5: Lots of ice cream.
I admire her optimism.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 4, 2019
DAUGHTER: I don’t want that for dinner.
ME: What do you want?
ME: …This is noodles.
DAUGHTER: I don’t want that.
ME: I don’t…I don’t know where we go from here.
— The Dad (@thedad) July 21, 2019
My picky kids: avocadon’t
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) July 23, 2019
My daughter won’t eat chicken but she will drink water out of a squirt gun that was left outside all winter
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) May 9, 2018
9yo: What can I have for lunch?
Me: What do you want?
9yo: What are my options?
Me: You literally eat 5 things.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 6, 2019
In picky eater news: I tried to give my son a piece of turkey and it scared him.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) January 11, 2017
My favorite game to play with my child is saying “what do you want for dinner?” and then having her refuse 184738 options and end up making butter noodles.
— Amanda Marcotte | Mediocre Mommy (@storiesofamom) January 16, 2020
Not a soul:
4yo: No! I want something else for dinner! That’s disgusting!
Me: I haven’t even told you what we’re having yet, you lunatic!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 25, 2020
Can we please stop bloggers from pretending they know how to get picky kids to eat and just call fruit snacks a square meal?
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) April 4, 2017
Things my toddler won’t eat:
Things my toddler will eat:
I think l’m raising a diabetic raccoon
— RubMor (@QBruby) July 13, 2019
Them: what’s parenthood like?
Me: I spent my Saturday evening picking every bit of parsley off dinner so tiny people stop crying is what it’s like.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 14, 2018
The best way to get your picky kid to eat is to get your own plate of food and be starving and they will eat 3/4 of whatever you made for yourself.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) June 27, 2018
Eating Out w/Kids:
Act 1: Son orders Mac & Cheese
Act 2: Won’t eat it bec “forgot he doesn’t like it”
Act 3: Asks for dessert
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) June 27, 2017
Saying kids are “picky” eaters is too cute sounding. Refusey. We should call them refusey eaters.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) July 7, 2017
Wife: ugh our daughter won’t eat any food.
Me: I’m on it.
Me: [slides $20 across the table] tell my toddler to eat her food.
Mall Santa: I’m on it.
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) November 26, 2018
Eating breakfast with a toddler is fun if you like saying “eat your breakfast” for 2 hours.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 18, 2018
I have decided to write “Nothing!” on an empty cardboard box.
I’m going to give it to Jack every time he says he wants nothing for dinner.
It’s a learning exercise.
— Jack’s Dad (@DaddingAround) September 2, 2019
Not only does my kid refuse to eat the food that’s in front of her, she also refuses to look at pictures of food.
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) March 4, 2017
My son won’t eat blueberries.
Because apparently, blueberries are peas holding their breath.
— Carbosly (@Carbosly) July 11, 2014
Dinner Game for Toddlers: Every time they say “eat your food” take a sip of water.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) October 9, 2013
If my kids lived in the movie A Quiet Place:
Me: (whispering) Be very quiet or the aliens will eat us.
My kids: EAT? IS IT TIME FOR SNACK NOT THAT SNACK WE WANT CHIPS EWW APPLES CAN WE PLAY WITH PLAY DOH
Me: SHUT UUUUUUP
Aliens: lol hey dinner and a show
— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) March 4, 2020
Giving my toddler ice cream for dinner because today that counts as a well rounded healthy meal. These are the rules.
— Eric Smith (@ericsmithrocks) November 4, 2020
When life hands you lemons, nope your kids won’t eat that either.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) June 19, 2019