You may think you left math behind when you finished school. But if you have children, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Many parents have used Twitter to lament the days when their children ask for help with their math homework. Even if they manage to recall the skills they once learned, that may not be helpful in the confusion of common core math.
Fortunately, they’ve also found humor in the situation. We’ve rounded up 35 tweets that sum up parents’ frustrations with their kids’ math homework.
10-year-old: Can you help me with my math homework?
10: *points to the problem*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2021
I reassure my kids as I help them with their math homework by telling them I took calculus so I think I know a thing or two about being completely confused.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 10, 2021
I don’t scare easily but I’m petrified when I see my 3rd grader walking towards me with his math homework & an inquisitive look on his face.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) December 13, 2016
Here’s a little song I wrote about helping kids with their Common Core Math homework, it’s called “We Just Have to Multiply Two Single Digits Why the Fuck Do We Need to Draw a Parallelogram“ and a one and a two
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 14, 2019
Okay, I’m not going to ask how you got there because I won’t understand anyway but the answer book says it’s correct so good job.
– me helping my 6yo with his math and nailing it
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) February 14, 2019
I used to be an atheist until my 8YO started asking for help with her math homework
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) September 27, 2021
My only real argument for having multiple children is that the older one will eventually be able to help the younger one with Common Core math.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 27, 2021
Store clerk: May I help you?
Me: I hope so. Sweetie go get your math homework, this nice woman is going to help us.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 13, 2018
I’ve decided to let my son only watch TV for 3 more weeks because it’ll be better than the both of us crying over common core math
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) March 25, 2020
What wine pairs well with Common Core math?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 24, 2020
10YR OLD: dad, can you help me with my math homework?
ME: *throws smoke bomb*
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) January 31, 2017
I don’t like to swear in front of my kids but I also don’t like to help them with their math homework, so I may have just angrily referred to fractions as “fucktions!”
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 12, 2019
Allie has 5 oranges, she gives 3 away. How many does she have left?
Common Core Math: Round up to the nearest 100, take away half. Draw a number line and count up 10. Do 15 jumping jacks while you subtract. Take away the sum of the quotient of the total to get the answer.
— ThisOneSaysBOOO (@ThisOneSayz) November 4, 2019
Just got my ass handed to me by my kid’s 2nd grade math homework.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 16, 2017
Can’t figure out 7th grade son’s math homework — despite using his book, Google, Wikipedia, and about five wine coolers.
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) October 27, 2016
Whenever I have to help my kids with their New New Math worksheets, I end up giving myself pep talks like some kind of Aaron Sorkin character (“I actually went to a very good school!”) before I give up/google grade-school math tutorials. So that’s what keeps me humble, Barbara.
— Nicole Chung (@nicolesjchung) September 18, 2018
*12 comes to me with math homework
12: Can you do this?
Me: Son, I got older so I wouldn’t have to.
— The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) October 4, 2021
Hi sweetie, doing your math homework?
2nd grader: Yes, 27 + 41 = 68 but our teacher makes us [spends 30 minutes drawing number lines, groups of ten, shaded blocks, etc.] do it this way.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 24, 2018
I tried to slow cook a pot roast this morning by plugging in the toaster, but sure son, let me help you with your math homework.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 16, 2018
You can’t make me cry; you’re not my daughter’s 2nd grade math homework.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 28, 2021
Couldn’t hate 2nd grade math enough? Try having kids.
— AparnaRC (@Wordesse) September 11, 2021
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of going to happy hour you can make a boxed dinner while I figure out common core math homework.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 3, 2016
[checking common core math]
8-year-old: Is it right?
Me: Turn around. I’m definitely not going to Google this.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 20, 2019
school administrator: we need something to make parents feel like complete and utter dipshits in front of their children pretty much every single night.
guy who invented common core math: oooh, have i got a treat for you.
— JB 4Realz (@JB4Realz) September 25, 2018
Murder By Numbers is my favorite movie about helping my kids with their math homework
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) October 29, 2020
Me, to 10yo: The first step in doing your math homework is *starts crying*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 8, 2018
You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework.
You can’t have both.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) March 20, 2019
Before kids: I will never swear in front of my precious angels.
After kids: WTF is this math homework?!
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) December 13, 2017
‘You are a strong, capable and intelligent woman.’
I mutter to myself, as I use my fingers to count while reviewing my kid’s math homework.
— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) November 7, 2019
One day someone will ask my kids if they ever saw their dad cry and they will think about the time with the math homework.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 24, 2019
13 out of 10 parents have difficulty helping their kids with Common Core math homework.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) October 2, 2017
That wasn’t a typo, it’s the new common core spelling. No one understands it, but it’s supposed to be better for some reason.
— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) May 21, 2019
Child: It says “solve for X”
Me: Well, look at our clock with Roman numerals on it.
Child: Um. Ok.
Me: What number is “X?”
Child [counting]: 10.
Me: Right. X is always 10.
Child: OH OKAY. [writing answer]
Wife: You know they’ll end up living at home right?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 21, 2020
*Arrives in Hell*
Devil: Here, help these 5th graders with common core math
— Jo Bean (@jobrowneyes) October 24, 2018